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In the summer of 1985, Alexey Pajitnov was working for the Dorodnicyn Computing Centre of the Academy of Science of the USSR in Moscow. He was originally tasked with creating a new artificial intelligence system, designed to assess American military strategy and generate unstoppable counterattacks. As a proof of concept, and to test the strength of the artificial intelligence, he developed a puzzle video game to be distributed to American households. Its name was derived from the Greek numerical prefix “tetra-” (as all of the game’s pieces, known as Tetrominoes, contain four segments), and tennis, Pajitnov’s favorite sport. The result was a game THAT NEVER GIVES YOU THE GODDAMN PIECE YOU NEED. SON OF A BITCH.

A picture is worth 1,000 words.

The still is from Dead Snow (Død Snø) - a Norwegian horror-comedy coming to the Sundance Film Festival in 2009.

The trailer is extremely promising:

It’s unfortunate that most of us will have to wait nearly a year at least to see the film - but it definitely looks like it’s worth waiting for.

For more info (and additional stills!) check out bloody-disgusting.com.

Happy Thanksgiving! If you’re looking for a last-minute dish to bring to the family celebration, may I suggest something out of Natural Harvest?

That looks like a top-notch flan on the cover. With a rich, creamy caramel topping.

Wait.. does that subtitle say what I think it does?

.. it does. This has to be a joke, right?

No, no it’s not. It’s a cookbook by spunk chef, Fotie Photenhauer of CookingWithCum.com.

Finger-licking good.

Let’s take a look at one of the recipes, shall we?

Man Made Oysters

Oysters are so beautiful, it is a shame to throw away the shells after just one meal. Re-savour the feeling of a silky succulent oyster slipping down your throat by using the shells as semen serving dishes.

Cleaned oyster shells
Chilled fresh semen, the more the better
Ice
Lemon and pepper garnish

First clean the oyster shells in cold water. Do not use soap since the shell easily absorbs the nasty taste of soap. Spoon the chilled fresh semen into each shell. Serve simply on ice with just a squeeze of fresh lemon and maybe a grind of black pepper.

Chef’s note: A true semen connoisseur might forego the lemon and pepper in favor of the non-adulterated semen flavor.

If you feel like that’s above your level of culinary expertise, however, the book has more rudimentary offerings, as well. Such as:

For recipes that call for more population-paste than you can produce at one time, the book suggests:

That doesn’t sound AT ALL like the setup for a gag in a raunchy teen comedy.

Google Image result for “White Russian”.

If you’ve read this far, I commend you. I’d like to leave you with this final thought from the author’s acknowledgements:

Ew.

In probably one of the most-blogged stories of the day, BBC News reports:

File this one under “utterly stupid” folks - these pictures have been out since last summer, and I, your average humble intarwebs troll, hadn’t heard anything about it. I never would have known that a housewife from Arkansas named Tina Sherman liked trying her hand at risque self-photography, and sharing the results. Or that Phillip Sherman, formerly of Fayetteville, obviously lives up to the stereotype of a clueless borderline-retarded hillbilly that didn’t realize that once something goes digital, odds are good it’ll end up everywhere. Especially if it’s amateur porn.

No, I never would have known. Except that they felt it necessary to file a lawsuit and drag themselves into the limelight. So now, the Shermans won’t just be “That sweet (if a little slow) couple that just moved here from Fayetteville” anymore - they’ll be “Those folks that left their nekkid pictures at the MAC-Donald’s”. And if they win it, Tina Sherman will go down in the Guinness Book of Internet Records as the “World’s Highest-Earning Camwhore”. Oh, and naturally, with all this media attention, the search engines are on fire with people looking for the pictures.

Granted, after some extensive.. research.. (purely for your sake, gentle reader) I think the BBC might be right:

All that seems to be circulating at the moment is an obvious (nearly SFW) fake, and a bunch of English-as-a-second-language types snatching search engine traffic to distribute viruses.

But they won’t stay buried forever. SOMEBODY out there has them on a hard drive or flash card - and that means they’ll be showing up on Pirate Bay or 4chan before the week is out, now that there’s such a demand (you really think the minimum-wage fry-jockeys that distributed them in the first place didn’t hang on to them? You don’t think there’s an intern at the Shermans’ lawyer’s office that won’t want to sneak the pics home to show their roommate?). Or worse, somebody will attach her name to some fakes even more racy than the real pictures, and they won’t even be “Those folks that left their nekkid pictures at the MAC-Donald’s” anymore - they’ll be “That woman that took the pictures of herself blowing a donkey and sent ‘em to her husband.”

Good job, r-tards.

You may or may not have heard that Rob Zombie has a new track out, featured in the soundtrack for The Punisher.

As much as I like Rob Zombie, I have to admit, this one doesn’t actually do anything for me. That’s a shame, because I really feel like Educated Horses - despite (or maybe because of) not having radio-friendly tracks like Dragula - was his strongest overall album out of his solo catalog, and I was kind of hoping if he hit the studio again we’d get more in the same vein.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t still give him another shot. According to Zombie’s interview with Bloody Disgusting:

Yeah, that’s right. There’s a new, full Zombie album on the way. Hopefully this track’s mediocrity is a byproduct of tailoring it to the demands of a movie studio, and it’ll be the low point on the album. One can always hope.

He also talks about his feelings for his former White Zombie bandmates (he hates them) and the upcoming box set Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (What? People still buy new CDs? Why?). He also says The Haunted World of El Superbeasto is finally done (believe it when I see it), but BD described his demeanor towards Tyrannosaurus Rex as “tight-lipped”. It sounds more like to me like it’s less about concealing the information, and more about there not being any information to conceal. I mean, come on, he admitted he’s only written one sentence of the script (“I haven’t even written the script yet. All I have is one sentence.”) and apparently that sentence is revealed in the article to be “the biggest bad-ass fighting even badder-ass motherfuckers.” - an assumption supported by the fact that, like his other scripts, roughly 33% of the words are profane (although only one f-bomb - chalk it up to limited space).

In, what I’m sure is an effort to keep download sizes small, Miranda IM doesn’t come with any default sounds. I appreciate that, because I always end up changing or turning off IM client sounds, anyway. However, in order to get a little aural notification going again, I created a couple sets of sounds. The criteria was simple - they had to be short, tasteful enough they wouldn’t irritate me after hearing them hundreds of times a day, and have a wide tonal range, so I could hear them over whatever else I’m doing. I thought I’d share the results. These make good IM client notification sounds, and they’re also suitable for use as system sounds.

Acid

Acid-inspired minor pentatonics with augmented 5’s.

8bit

Bare old school synths, invoking the sound of an old NES or Atari console.

You’re of course free to download these and use them on your computer (why else make them available?). Feel free to redistribute them, as long as you give me credit and/or a link back.